When you're in control, you're winning. So, always try to put yourself in a place of maximal control.
We all have differences. We all are unique.
Your childhood is different than mine, and maybe more painful, maybe less.
While it is not always the case, I believe that we all experience a similar amount of pain in our lives.
We all have equal shots at winning, at overcoming our pain, at transforming our life into exactly what we want it to be.
No hurdle too big.
See, when you get to take responsibility for yourself - when you admit that you're not in control of what's happened to you, but your response - you're liberated.
Initially, it sucks to admit that your life is in the shitty place that it is because of no one other than you. But this is a HUGE first step.
It's a whole lot better than everything being their fault. Now, that would suck. Because if they messed things up for you, then they're the only ones that can fix it.
But when it's all your fault, you hold all the power to cleaning yourself up.
While it initially sucks, later it's incredible. Being able to actually mold every part of your life from the shitty thing it is to the beautiful thing you want it to be - well you might as well be God. Maybe you are?
Good news: you don't need to run away from all your problems anymore - no matter how scary they seem.
Get close, get intimate, and get accepting them for what they are. Once you can do that, you can start on the path to changing them.
Once you start changing them, they go away, your life becomes better, and you start to experience tastes of heaven.
IT ALL STARTS WITH RESPONSIBILITY.
Three tips to start affecting your problems quickly and in large ways:
1. Aim as low as you can.
There are no bonus points for taking big steps, or big bites. The points come when you make it to the end, and actually solve your problems. So make it easy on yourself, start as small as you can to get things moving. You want to guarantee that you'll finish, not that you'll go fast.
2. Have an upward-aiming trajectory.
After enough time, small building blocks add up to incredible things. As long as you're extremely low aim is still above what is normal and comfortable for you - even slightly - you've got a shot at winning. Aiming low, wishing yourself to be the worse - or not aiming at all, and being the same - doesn't even give you a chance at changing yourself. You deserve a chance.
3. Measure yourself honestly.
Set goals, and decide on metrics to track them - getting an accountability partner to help makes this whole process so much easier. Aiming low but up is the entire process of actually changing yourself - but you have to make sure you stay in the game. As millionaires say, "you need to stay in the flow."
Keep track of where you are, and keep adjusting upwards as you start to get more and more comfortable with the next rung on the ladder. Falling down a couple rungs, or even staying on the same one is nowhere near as bad as getting off the ladder entirely. Stay measuring, stay focused, and stay in the flow.
A lot of this article has been inspired by Jordan B Peterson. If you want to learn more about him, check out his YouTube channel here.
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