YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE.
NOTHING NEEDS TO HAPPEN FOR YOU TO BE WORTHY OF LOVE.
SO GIVE IT TO YOURSELF NOW.
For a long time I have been worried that certain parts of myself don't deserve love.
- the part of me that likes candy
- the part of me that enjoys drugs/alcohol
- the part of me that doesn't want to work in a big building downtown
- the part of me that wants to make a lot of money
- the part of me that feels depressed
- the part of me that doesn't like some people
And then I realized...
THESE ARE THE PARTS OF MY LIFE THAT NEED LOVE THE MOST.
There are two ways to improve in your life:
You can leave your environment alone entirely, and change how you feel about what you already have.
You can try to change your surroundings/your environment by actually getting that girl, or that money, or that body.
Being able to change how you feel about what you already have
is a powerful meta-skill.
We're going to go deeper for a second so bear with me.
The typical approach is to change your environment, to change your surroundings to create happiness.
But in the long run, that doesn't work. Your Good Life really does start upstairs.
Even with the perfect environment, your mind will still want more.
THE SOONER YOU CAN TEACH YOURSELF TO APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE, THE SOONER YOU WILL ACTUALLY START BEING ABLE TO APPRECIATE THE PRESENT.
Think of it like this: once you can learn that you're enough and what's around you is enough, then it's easy to build on that, ensuring each piece you add on top feels like enough as you add it.
Once your mental model of the world includes loving yourself in it, life starts to fully become enough. Exactly as it is. Without modification.
And this is exactly the goal:
Once you're able to cultivate a love and appreciate for everything, you stop being able to lose.
It no longer becomes an option.
When everything is winning, the pressure of picking the 'right thing' goes away.
5 WAYS TO LOVE YOURSELF RIGHT NOW
1. LOVE YOUR BODY
2. LOVE YOUR FAMILY
These people have raised you. You've absorbed more from them than you have any other person in the world. Love them. Thank them. Appreciate them. Feel grateful for them. Accept them exactly as they are, because how are you supposed to appreciate yourself as you are if you can't accept the flaws of those closest to you?
4. LOVE YOUR FRIENDS
When you can express true, pure love to your friends, you start to feel like you deserve some yourself. Sometimes you need to see what pure love is on the outside to get inspired to see some on the inside.
Start where it hits home the hardest. Your home. Your house that you take with you everywhere you go. That chin fat that you're starting to see in pictures? Ya, let that go. And that big pimple on your cheek you got from working this weekend when you know you should have taken a break? Let that go too. You're okay exactly how you are, with the size you are, the colour you are, the weight you are, the height you are, with the skin that you have. After all, you created you, right?
3. LOVE YOUR PAST
This is what you are made of. It will always be with you, and if you don't accept all of it (or even parts), you will carry this negative energy around with you wherever you go. Work through your childhood trauma. Work through your differences with your parents growing up. Work through your old conflicts. And accept them so you can let them go.
5. LOVE YOUR COMMUNITY
Give to those around you that you don't know. Volunteer. Go to the park and give someone a hug. Buy a coffee for the person ahead of you. Connecting deeply with the people around you will better enable you to connect deeply with yourself.
LOVING YOURSELF TAKES WORK.
Accepting yourself for who you are takes a lot of time.
It takes work, but it's something that you build.
Once you make some progress, things get easier.
As you get older, with enough practice, you may even reach a state
where you are so comfortable with yourself that you love every part of you.
But new parts of yourself are constantly being created. As time goes on, you change.
So even if you 'make it' and accept all of yourself, you've still got to keep working.