Having stepped away from weed (and gotten a new job), I have come to realize the trust cost this drug has had on my life.
Not only am I affected while I am on it, but in between sessions of being high, I am constantly thinking about the next one.
Really, there is nothing better than that experience in life, so why wouldn’t I constantly be looking forward to it?
Since stepping away, I have come to feel the highs of creating art, making sales, going to the gym hard, doing cold exposure, eating incredible food (that doesn’t have sugar), and cleaning are just a few that individually surpass the high weed was able to offer me.
Perhaps the greatest high of all is sleep. Actually resting, and going about my day with real energy (not fake energy of weed) now feels like a supernatural experience.
When I was high often, I would look at other people, just dumbfounded with how they would be living their lives, happy with some of the joys I listed, not needing to get high. Now, I realize the greatest beauties in life lie in the clean abyss deep within us.
P.S. Within the next months, I’m committing to go to six addictions meetings. While I am on my way out, the pattern is still there, deep within me. It will take years to overwrite it. But that work starts with one small step. First meeting booked by the end of the week.